Blogs tagged with general parenting
Friday, June 11 2010
This week, the New York Times featured an article about the mental price of technology. I believe there is also an emotional price too: the toll of time away from focusing on our family relationships. With the constant buzz from emails, texts, tweets, Facebook notifications,news feeds, stock price updates, etc., it is difficult to pause and consider where to place our attention. Too often we react and respond to the interrupting technological device than to the people we love most in the wor...
Posted at 02:55 pm in general parenting, media
Saturday, July 03 2010
Last weekend, I saw a young woman wearing a T shirt with the caption "Hug It Out" and it got me thinking....hugs feel wonderful and are also a great tool for parents. When your child feels stuck, is frustrated, or just can't take it anymore, a big, secure hug from Mom or Dad can bring instant comfort. If your child has sensory integration issues, a bear hug can provide the deep input he or she seeks. Other playful ways to shift the mood in a positive direction include gentle wrestling, crashi...
Saturday, March 27 2010
A few weeks ago, we brought home a beautiful apricot standard poodle puppy named Bella. Everyone said puppies are a lot of work, and many folks lifted their eyebrow when I said we were bringing ours home in mid February. I guess they could imagine the trouble of dealing with the cold, ice and snow during housebreaking. Well, the past few weeks haven’t been easy, but they have been fun as we have all fallen in love with our newest family member.
Today, I am able to pause and appreciate the...
Thursday, July 15 2010
Like many families, you may be choosing to keep a lid on expenses by having a "staycation" this year. There are often practical benefits, in addition to the obvious financial reasons, for this choice. For example, I remember coming home exhausted from family vacations when our children were infants and toddlers. There is a clear case to make for keeping everyone in their own beds so that sleep is not disrupted during vacation time.
When you are planning daily activities, consider sharing...
Posted at 01:15 am in general parenting
Monday, August 02 2010
Ever notice how much attention society gives to keeping our kids busy during the summer months? I have. So, I'm pushing back to suggest that parents take a break from scheduling their children's summer days and take time for simply BE-ing together. With some practice, I bet you'll notice that BE-ing time is refreshing for you too.
Why should parents spend some time just BE-ing with their child or children? Practicing BE-ing is so essential for all of us, especially young children who are...
Tuesday, September 21 2010
Over the weekend, I listened to several parents express frustration over their elementary aged children’s sleep problems which, of course, was also depriving them of a good night’s sleep. Does this ring a bell for you? I can completely relate to the havoc lack of sleep reeks in my family life. Sleep deprivation has been linked to irritability, distraction, and poor judgment. There are experts who argue many cases of ADD may actually be the result of lack of sleep in children. For children...
Tuesday, November 23 2010
As we approach Thanksgiving, what are you grateful for this year? If nothing comes to you immediately, don't fear. Your mind is probably focused on all the "doings" that occupy us during this busy season. In order to listen to what's in your heart, you need to find some quiet time where you can focus on just "being". Where can you carve out five or ten minutes each day to think about something you are grateful for in your life? Can you get up a little bit earlier so you can sit in bed quiet...
Wednesday, March 02 2011
Good morning! I just came across a free parenting seminar that is free of charge and open to all. In it, you can select and listen to video clips from popular parent educators and authors. Once you sign in, you have through March 8th to listen. Check it out and let me know what you think...http://www.parentingsummit.com/
Posted at 04:57 pm in general parenting
Friday, April 22 2011
Happy Earth Day! The great outdoors is easy to take for granted, isn't it? So much of our lives are spent indoors or in the car. Our minds are full of schedules, responsibilities and worries. Today, if takes a conscious effort to appreciate the wonder of this beautiful planet we call home. I find that time spent outdoors in nature can keep me grounded. When I'm overwhelmed by the chaos of children arguing or the mess in the kitchen and family room, a fifteen minute walk clears my head. Wh...
Sunday, July 03 2011
This week I begin teaching a four-week course in Montclair NJ based on the book, "The Art of Positive Parenting" by Mickey Tobin. The foundation of this class is for parents to sharpen their skills around listening to their children's feelings and managing their own feelings and reactions so they can make parenting choices from a calm state of mind. These are challenging skills indeed given that we all have "scripts" that we routinely, and often automatically, use with our children and we are ...
Monday, July 18 2011
Sometimes we need a push from our child to join in an activity. Yesterday, I was reluctant to go into the cold ocean with my son, but he pleaded with me ever so sweetly and then held my arm and gave me the nudge I needed. Well....it was worth it! My body temperature adjusted and we had a blast jumping the waves and laughing together. I will treasure this memory for a long time.
The experience reminded me of the importance of periodically saying "Yes" to requests from our children to join ...
Wednesday, December 14 2011
At this stressful time of the year, do you find yourself more edgy and short-fused around the children? No wonder. There is so much we are trying to accomplish to create special holiday memories. At the same time, we are all being bombarded by media about what to buy and where and when to buy it in order to get the best price and make our loved ones happy. Our children are also surrounded by friends telling them what they wish to receive this holiday and this can lead to pushing for gifts tha...
Tuesday, August 14 2012
Have you ever met a perfect parent? I haven't and believe it's an impossible goal. Even if things are going smoothly in your parenting right now, wait a bit and see how things change with time. Children change and grow every day, and what works now may not be effective when your child enters a new stage of development. Also, each child has a unique learning style and personality which adds complexity to the job of parenting. Surely, what works with one child does not necessarily work with ...
Posted at 09:43 pm in general parenting
Tuesday, August 21 2012
“My daughter’s so shy.”
“My son’s a clutz.”
“She’s a freak.”
Have you heard a parent speak this way? How did it make you feel? How do you think it affects the daughter or son in each case?
Labels attach a permanent description to a person. Labels ignore the reality that, as humans, we are growing and changing every day. When a negative label is given to a child, it can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. A parent’s words have staying power with their child. It i...
Tuesday, August 28 2012
The beginning of a new school year is a time of hopeful anticipation and dread for me. I am eager for a steady routine and more time for my priorities. Will we be able to get ourselves back on schedule after a very carefree summer? Will there be constant homework battles? Will my son make new friends and discover new activities? Wait a minute, these are my feelings and concerns. I have to remember that the school year is really about my child. What are his feelings as he transitions from ...
Posted at 01:21 pm in general parenting
Monday, September 10 2012
The school buses are on the roads, children with backpacks are out and about, and the preschools are surrounded by parked vehicles during drop-off and pick-up times. For some children, they are experiencing school for the first time. For others, they are transitioning from preschool to kindergarten, or from elementary to middle school, and so on. So, how's it going? A loaded question, I know, but one worthy of consideration. Getting up and out on time, lunches packed, and remembering everyt...
Tuesday, September 04 2012
For most parents with school-aged children, the start of a new academic year is full of scheduling activities, receiving schedules, and updating calendars. My question for parents is what time are you setting aside for yourself this Fall? Hmmm...many of us never consider this question and view our role as home manager and carpooler for the children and their activites. While inevitably school and extracurricular activities will occupy the majority of a parent’s time outside of work, it is pos...
Tuesday, September 18 2012
Are you tired of hearing the word “No”? In families with young children, the word “No” can be overused by both parents and children. Parents share they are tired of hearing themselves say it over and over again to exhaust behaviors their children continue repeating, such as “no climbing on the dishwasher.” Young children with their newfound sense of individuality find the word very empowering and use it often to express their preferences. For example, “do you want to eat lunch now?” may be ...
Posted at 01:52 pm in general parenting
Tuesday, September 25 2012
Life if full of unexpected twists and turns and, as my father says, “opportunties to grow.” These learning opportunities or “problems” begin to present themselves when we are very young and continue throughout our lives. As parents, we need to be aware to step back at times so our children can learn from the experience.
This is much easier said than done. We desperately want our children’s lives to run smoothly. We also want them to be happy. In addition, we have so much wisdom to shar...
Posted at 03:48 pm in general parenting
Friday, October 12 2012
Think of being on an airplane listening to the flight attendant’s safety instructions. “Put your oxygen mask on before assisting other passengers.” This is a great metaphor for parenting. We must acknowledge and address our own feelings and needs before we can help our child deal with his feelings and needs.
What are your feelings about your little one staying with a nanny or going off to day care or nursery school? It is natural for parents to feel a sense of loss when returning to wor...
Tuesday, November 13 2012
The Child’s Need for Independence Is as Strong as the Child’s Need for Love
The “terrible two’s,” “difficult” children who refuse to go with the flow, and parent-child “power struggles” are common parenting challenges that share a central theme. In each case, the child’s need for independence is clashing with the parent’s need for authority. Two-year-olds relish their newfound awareness of their individuality and preferences. They may protest decisions that do not meet with...
Tuesday, December 18 2012
The horrific events in Newtown, CT last Friday are on all of our minds and hearts. For parents, this is an opportunity to talk less and listen more to our children about their thoughts, feelings and fears. The key, and challenge, for us as parents is to be truly present for our children and not impose our feelings and fears upon them. The following links are helpful resources for parents on talking and listening to children about community violence:
Posted at 07:47 pm in general parenting
Tuesday, January 22 2013
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Parents, can you relate to this beloved comedian’s quote? We all have moments when we lose control and regret our behavior. Children, on the other hand, are expected to have tantrums when they are young. They are still learning how to regulate their emotions and impulses. As adults, children need us to be a calm and ...
Monday, February 04 2013
The importance of play for children has been written and spoken about for many years. Play is a child’s work; it is how they learn and make sense of their world. Did you know play is also a powerful tool for relieving stress for both children and their adult caretakers? Lawrence Cohn, author of "Playful Parenting", suggests that play can be used to diffuse tension around highly charged situations.
Most parents have recurring patterns with their children which leave them frustrated and exh...
Tuesday, February 12 2013
“It should be a privilege to be able to say "I love you" to someone. It shouldn't be something people say just because they feel like it. A privilege that is earned. They say you have to earn the right to be loved; no, love is unconditional, if you love someone, they don't have to earn it. But. The right to tell someone that you love them? That has to be earned. You have to earn the right to be believed.” ~ C. Joy Bell C., author
As we approach Valentine’s Day, I am sharing this thought-prov...
Posted at 05:57 pm in general parenting
Tuesday, March 05 2013
Remember the lion in the “Wizard of Oz”? He desperately wants to find courage. Interestingly, when we first meet the lion in the film, he is taunting and criticizing the other characters until Dorothy confronts him about his behavior. Then, the lion confesses to the others that he is a coward and ashamed of himself, before they all trot off to see the wizard. Surely, the lion would have benefitted from more encouragement as a cub.
Encouragement means to give courage by building self-e...
Posted at 02:23 pm in general parenting